After
by Ohmaesterhelp
Summary: Sansa and Sandor talk after having had sex with each other for the first time.


After

When it was over, I wished it would have been my first time ever. And his. In some way, it had been, at least for myself. I had never been loved physically, really loved. A man with no name who had claimed to be my husband had taken my maidenhead on our wedding night in front of Theon Greyjoy's eyes. I had known him for the best part of my life. Not a single day passed without me thinking of that night and all the nights to follow. Not even a single time had our being together been consensual.

My long, red hair was spread out like a fan on Sandor's broad and hairy chest. It heaved slightly with every breath he took coaxing me into sleep. His muscled arms were around my body holding me tightly. I believed him to be asleep, but when he shifted his left arm slightly under my weight, I realized he was not. When I tried to get up, he carefully held me in place.

"Don't move", he rasped. "Just stay that way."

"I'd like to lie on my belly, please", I said shyly.

"Go ahead then", he murmured. "Could you imagine … lying on top of me? Just for sleeping, I mean."

I glanced up at him. "Well … yes, I guess I could."

Slowly I turned around and let him pull myself carefully up onto his chest spreading the covers back over the two of us directly after. His skin was warm and I could feel the odd scar under my fingertips when I slightly touched his ribcage as well as his own fingers on the small of my back and it made me shudder.

"Are you cold?", he asked gruffly.

"No."

He continued stroking me carefully. "Sleep if you want."

"I … I don't think I could right now." Should I tell him that I was overwhelmed by emotions? It felt strange and I did not know whether or not I should confide in him.

"Did it hurt, little bird?", he asked hesitantly.

"Hm?"

He sighed. "Did I hurt you when I … Listen, I'd wanted to be gentle with you, but when you started moving like that, I just couldn't … I couldn't …"

"Don't worry", I whispered. "You did not. Well … it hurt a little … at the start. But then … no, don't you worry, it was … I really liked being with you like that."

"You did not scream. Not even moan."

I should have seen it coming. "That's true", I whispered. "But that does not mean I did not like it." Lifting my head, I looked into his eyes. "It is just … it always hurt. But with you inside of me, it was different. I liked being so close to you. Like a single body. Like it belonged that way."

He grinned. "Same here. I … also enjoyed it. No. More than that. It was … exceptional." He stopped grinning and his eyes went quizzical. "Did you come at all?"

My cheeks went very pink. "I … I …No Sandor, I … did not. But as I told you before …"

"You liked it, then?"

"Did I not tell you that much?"

"Aye, you did. But are you sure you're not … sugarcoating it? Is that the right word?"

"I guess it is. But no. What I want to tell you is … I could get used to that. And honestly speaking, I could even … it could have been even more intense if it had …"

"… lasted a bit longer?"

I nodded embarrassedly.

"I'm sorry." The burned side of his mouth twitched but I took it for amusement. "I also wished it had lasted longer. But I'm just a man, you know. It's actually your fault, little bird. You were so … tight. Completely different from …"

"… a common whore?" By the gods, why did I say said? Sandor, however, did not seem to be offended.

"Well … aye. You know I've been with a lot of them. There is no point denying that."

"Of course not."

"So, you don't regret it?"

I flinched. "How often do I have to tell you, Sandor? No, not at all!"

"Maybe it was too early. I shouldn't have insisted."

"Insisted? You did not … _insist_. You even asked me if I wanted to … to be touched by you."

He let out a barking laugh. "Oh aye. I was well on my way inside of you when I asked you that."

Now it was my turn to grin. "You could be right with that."

"Why didn't you stop me then?"

I felt my belly tingle. "I did not want you to stop." My gaze caressed his scars and he held it.

"Would you stop me if I wanted you again?"

I had felt his hardness for a while. "No."

"Are you sore, little bird?"

"Yes, I am", I admitted. "But it will not prevent me from wanting you inside of me again."

"Sure of that?"

"Quite sure."

"Go ahead then."

"What? I mean … how?"

"Are you serious? How would you act if you wanted to … retain control?"

"I … I really don't know. I never had that choice, Sandor."

"You have it with me. Right now, right here. How do you want it?"

The tenderness in his voice made me swallow hard. "Love me again, Sandor!"

"No, little bird. I want you to … fuck me. This time, I want it the other way round."

"You call it fucking. I call it lovemaking."

"That's only words, little bird. We mean the same thing." His breathing was heavier now. "Stop chirping and try it out."

Suddenly all of my fears were back. "What if …?"

"What if what? You can't do anything wrong in my eyes. You cannot even hurt me. What is it you want to do with me?"

I bit my lower lip. All the shame I had felt since the moment he had started to undress me an hour ago was back.

Sandor grabbed my arms and pulled me up. Not in a hurry, but carefully, supportingly. He still held me when I was sitting upright on his belly. "You alright with that?"

I nodded, feeling him hard against my pulsing pearl. I was all puzzled, bewildered. It felt good. _He_ felt good. And I felt good with him. I told him so.

"Alright. Go ahead then, little bird", he growled lowly. His eyes were closed, his chest heaving. "If you want it to feel even better, let me in."

Again, I swallowed. Then I slowly and carefully shifted my weight on my knees. Lifted my pelvis. Allowed him to use his hand to gently place himself in front of my woman's place.

"You really want me again? No joking?"

I shook my head vigorously, then lowered myself slowly onto him. Sandor growled loudly. In comparison to me, he seemed not at all self-conscious. But why should he? He was a man after all.

My long strands of hair brushed against his bare chest as I lowered my head. We were one again.

"Your hair is gorgeous", he murmured under his breath. "Although it reminds me of flames …"

It took me some time to adjust myself to him. Meanwhile I stroked his hair, his temples as well as the scarred side of his face. I did it softly, did not want him to feel uncomfortably. As far as I could tell, he did not.

I liked the way he filled me. Even when he did not move, I felt the tingling. "I am not quite ready, Sandor …"

"Doesn't matter, little bird", he growled. "Take your time. Don't pay attention to me, only to yourself."

Closing my eyes, I obeyed. I tried to steady myself by embracing his muscular upper arms with my fingers, but they were far to thick to do so. Very slowly I began to move on top of him, searching his face for a sign that he liked what I was doing. Sandor opened his eyes again and I could see the longing in his steady, brown gaze. Awkwardly, I started grinding my hips against his, the same way I remembered he had done it for me. This time, I was in no pain at all.

After a while, I got braver, moving my hips faster. I could hear in his dark growling that he liked it. That he had to pull himself together not to come too soon. I had to remind myself of what he had told me earlier, not to pay any attention to him, I wanted to please him so badly.

I did not feel it coming. The heat, the wave. I had not been concentrating on my own body, but on his. And then, suddenly … It seemed like ages ago that I had had this feeling. My heart pounded as if it wanted to jump out of my chest, my mouth went all dry. I had experienced it a few times as a young girl although Septa Mordane had warned me it would take me straight into … what? I could not remember, my head was full of colors, lightnings … Never in my whole life had I experienced something like this.

"Seven hells", I sobbed, when the wave hit me, washed over me. Sandor came to life, our hips clashing fiercely against each other causing me to scream out loud. He grabbed a fistful of my hair to pull me down, it hurt but I did not complain. My whole body was covered with goosebumps as he kissed me hard on the mouth. His moan was almost as loud as my cry when he spilled his hot seed into me.

His skin glistened with sweat and so did mine. I could hear him cursing under his breath.

"Fuck, little bird. Do this again to me and you'll kill me, I swear it …"

Trembling all over I lowered myself carefully back onto his broad chest. There was nothing to say.

Nothing at all.


End file.
